Dallas News Issue 1

Does anyone out there know how to clean a shoe soaked through with blood? Feel free to comment if you do. This question is not so random as one might think. I do in fact have a bloody shoe. I will now pause for a few moments to let you conjure images of horrible accidents and draft dodging...

Ok, is your imagination quite finished? Now I can tell you how lame the real story is. I was playing basket ball, and someone (I won't mention any names) stepped upon my previously traumatized big toe. I looked down and noticed that blood was seeping out of that area of my shoe. Did I stop? Oh no not I. I played through the pain. This was a fairly easy accomplishment as there was no pain. Shaquille O'Neal take note. It is possible to play basketball for free with a bloody toe, much less while getting paid millions.

Really it was just blood from the last time I hurt it. It was trapped under my toenail. Now it is not. I think I may have a fighting chance now of keeping my nail. Vanity I know. Anyway, paultryness of the injury aside I still need to clean my shoe. Anyone with crime scene cover up experience feel free to contact me.

Sam's Summary

• I have a bloody shoe
• It's not my blood
• It was my blood but I have no use for it now
• I want it out of my shoe and out of my life
• I am tougher than Shaquille O'Neal
• Apparently the only point of interest in Dallas is the spot on the road where Kennedy was shot.

Chilling in Texas

I the somewhat dubious case that anyone wonders what has become of me the past few days.. I am in college station Texas chilling with a couple college chums. They are brothers. Not much is happening. Just a few philosophical discussions of earth shattering import and more than a few episodes of Far Scape, an incredibly improbable and scientifically insulting bit of sci-fi drivel. However, it is quite entertaining. Sometimes that is all that I ask.

Some observations on Texas so far. My apologies to anyone who has been here themselves or, lacking that, has acquaintances who have. Texas is huge. No really it is huge. If you can distinguish two places as separate points on a map; plan at least a day for the travel. The other thing that I can say for Texas is that they have 70 mph speed limits on fairly normal country roads. Without that the above mentioned travel day would easily become two.

As for everything in Texas being bigger and/or better? Rubbish. Absolute rubbish. The trees are stunted, the apartments small (at least all the ones I have stayed in), and compensation by pick-up truck is a disease. (To a particular family member in a somewhat eastern state: You go right ahead and get that truck)

I think that the Ford F-150 must be the state animal or something. Of course the pick-ups are no bigger here than anywhere else, just less necessary. I could head out across the fields in my escort and never fear I would hit anything bigger than a long horn laid mud pie. Although I must admit my ability to intimidate pedestrians is somewhat lacking.

On the other hand they don't have a state income tax here (I suppose a dollar per acre property tax would pay off the national debt)

So that's it so far. Admittedly I have not seen much of Texas; just a six hour stretch of it anyway. I may have may be gushing about it before the end and I do like those shiny belt buckles. You know. The really big ones.

Sam's Summary

• Texas is Huge